winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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