the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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