Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize
