im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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