is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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