I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
