you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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