I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
