I accidentally burped into my bong.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
