Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
