Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
