Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
