I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
and you fell through a lawn chair
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
