everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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