So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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