I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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