but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
