Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
