Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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