She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
