lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize