you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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