This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Oh god it's open bar.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
