"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
then he tried to convert me to islam
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize