Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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