considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
