Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
