pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
