Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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