In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize