can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
