I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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