My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
