Whod you bang
you guys were way drunker than both of me
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
where does the pee come out of this thing
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
