My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize