bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
