Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
