is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Randomize
