If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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