I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
