rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize