she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
