He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I can't turn off my feet"
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
