problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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