The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
