So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I just found a bag of teeth...
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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