Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I want to fling myself into the sun
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
