Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
