"it" just moved
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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