and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I want a musical about memes.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
