hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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