what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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