do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize