Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
