Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Sext me about skeletons
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
