I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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