so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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