you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
