Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
