i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize