So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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