where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Randomize
