Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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