quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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