Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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