so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
